What Are You Saying About Your Clothes?
Of all of the things that my clients have a tough time letting go of, clothes seem to be one of the toughest. I often hear them say things like:
- “I don’t like this anymore but I spent a lot of money on it so I can’t get rid of it”
- “I like it but it doesn’t feel good when I put it on”
- “This doesn’t fit me right now but I will get back into it someday”
- “I got that as a gift. I would feel bad getting rid of it.”
Ever hear yourself saying these things about your own clothes?
What it comes down to is your closet and dresser drawers might be full of clothes that don’t fit good, feel good or look good. As much as you tell yourself that you’re going to wear those clothes, I hate to break it to you but the chances are you probably won’t.
However, what you will do is continue to look at those clothes and say to yourself you’re going to fit into them someday, get them altered someday, buy the thing to make it look cuter someday, someday, someday, someday.
All of this “someday” thinking leaves you in a very stuck space mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. It doesn’t allow you to acknowledge what fits good, feels good and looks good today. It focuses on what used to be or what could be. It can turn your closet into a breeding ground of negative thoughts making getting dressed a very unpleasant experience which can negatively impact your entire day.
Letting go is not easy. It often requires digging down deep into the emotions to find the source of what’s causing you to hold on. I often do talk therapy in my client’s closets so they can understand what has been causing them to hold on. Once they do, they can’t purge fast enough. It’s a glorious experience to watch.
Letting go does not have to be as hard as you think it might be. Try out some of these strategies to help you let go faster and easier.
Letting Go Strategies
- Fit, Feel, Look Good?
- Do I feel Good Or Bad?
- The Big But strategy
- Let it Loose
- 10 Seconds or Less
Fit, Feel or Look Good?
When making a decision on whether to keep a piece of clothing or not, start by asking yourself three questions:
- Does it fit good?
- Does it feel good?
- Does it look good?
If yes, then great, keep it. If not, consider letting it go or at least putting it in the maybe category. If it doesn’t fit, feel or look good, no matter how much you try and talk yourself into wearing it you most likely won’t. All it will do is sit there and probably make you feel bad in some way and take up valuable real estate in your closet.
Do I Feel Good Or Bad?
To help my clients get in touch with how they feel about their clothes and whether that feeling is negative or positive, I have them ask themselves whether that item makes them feel good or bad.
Once they start talking, they often reveal that some of their clothes are making them feel bad in some way. I then explain how that bad feeling could be lowering the energy in the closet and impacting the life area where the closet sits on the feng shui bagua map.
When they look at it from an energetic perspective, they start purging much faster and easier. You should see how fast women start purging their clothes when we identify their closet sits in their love corner. It’s hilarious to watch.
Here’s a simple exercise you can do to reveal how you really feel about your clothes. Grab an article of clothing that you haven’t worn in awhile and just start talking about it out loud to yourself. Chances are you will hear yourself at some point saying, “I like it but.” Whatever you say after the but is either the reason why you aren’t wearing it or the reason you are talking yourself into keeping it. If you have to talk yourself into wearing something, you probably won’t wear it. A closet full of clothes you don’t wear is an energy zapper.
Letting go and holding on are two opposite ends of the extreme. If I was holding a pencil in my hand and my grip on it was really tight, the pencil, no matter what I do, is not going to leave my hand. But if I loosen my grip, now the pencil has more of a chance of leaving my hand. The same concept can apply to your clothes.
Holding on to clothes with a mental and emotional tight grip can make getting rid of them almost impossible. Here are some ways you can loosen your grip and increase the possibilities of letting them go.
- Remove them from your closet rod or dresser drawers and put them in a bin up on a top shelf in your closet. For instance memorabilia t-shirts. Simply moving them from one spot to another can shift your thinking around it which will help to loosen the grip.
- When purging clothes into keeps and not keeps, give yourself a maybe pile. It will give you permission to let it go a little without totally letting it go right now.
- Find someone to personally give your clothes to or a charity that you love. I often find people feel much better about letting something go if they can give it to someone they personally know or charity they would feel good donating to.
10 Seconds Or Less
The key to going through a clothing purge efficiently is to make fast decisions. It’s very easy to get sidetracked during the process, which will slow things down and make finishing very difficult. When making decisions on what stays and what goes, keep your decision time to 10 seconds or less. If you can’t make the decision right now, it’s ok, just add it to the maybe pile and keep moving. Once you are done making decisions on all of your clothes, then you can go back into the maybe pile and try again. You will be surprised at how much easier it will be for you to make the decision the second time around.
Letting go is hard, but using these strategies will make it easier to make the tough decisions that it might be time to make. The reward is a closet of clothes that you genuinely love and use which will raise your energy, make you look great, feel great and create a more positive day.